Claudine Thomas - Celebration of Life

This

is Janice and Shirley, Claudine

and

Bessie.

And

we're going to sing

Home

Sweet Home.

If

we can

read every word.

If we can read the words.

And

Bessie will play for us.

Welcome into

this

circle

of sorrow, celebration,

and

remembrance.

Let

us deal truthfully with one another.

The

truth

is

that Claudine is gone from us.

The

truth is that we love her.

And

if the choice were ours, we would not choose to have it so.

So

we come

to

bear witness to our sadness.

To

cry together.

To

say goodbye together.

To

share our memories. To comfort one another. To honor the truth

and

the gift

of

Claudine's life.

We

come also to sit together in the presence of words older and wiser than our own.

To

learn to possess our sorrows as the measure of our love. To see our loss against the larger thought

of

eternity.

And

the infinite

and

ultimate meanings

of

life itself.

There

is no instant comfort in this.

Only

the promise that life and love remain precious.

That

healing

is

possible.

And

inevitably, our anguish frames the question, why?

If

not on our lips,

in

our hearts.

There

is no answer that removes this question. No answer that can bridge the chasm of irreparable separation.

Life

will never be the same.

And

this is

as

it should be.

For

our loved ones are not expendable.

We

can meet such loss only with our grief.

That

uncontrived mixture

of

courage, affirmation,

and

inconsolable desolation.

And

grief is enough.

For

in our grieving, we live an answer.

As

in the depths.

Love

and selfishness conjoin until, if we allow it, love asserts its dominance.

And

we become more and more aware

of

the community of living

of

which life makes us a part.

Good

afternoon.

I

am the Reverend Erin Dyke-Hawley, and I serve as the second minister here at All Souls Unitarian Universalist Church,

which

has been Claudine's religious community

for

more than 50 years.

My

colleague, the Reverend Dr. Kendall Gibbons, who is our senior minister, joins me in leading this afternoon's service.

Today,

we will be sharing in readings, in music, and in memories that you will be invited to share.

We

thank each of you

for

being here

to

offer your support and consolation to the family.

and

we invite you to join us for a brief reception across the parking lot in Simpson House

at

the conclusion of this service.

And

after that

brief

reception, we will also have a ceremony to scatter Claudine's ashes in the memorial gardening.

in

honor of the life of Claudine Thomas.

May

its flame remind us of the warmth of her spirit,

its

light,

the

glow of the love she shared

so

openly with the world.

by

Kenneth Sawyer. I want to let you know

that

Claudine picked her reading. Over the years,

she

would bring a scrap of something to church

and

have it put in her folder

for

her service.

So

all four of these readings are her choices.

So

Kenneth Sawyer wrote,

to

be religious, deeply to care,

and

to wonder, and to be moved. It is religious to care about life and those things precious in life, to care about the well-being of others, of the planet itself, to care about the basic values

that

have long been recognized to redeem and honor a life. Values like goodness

and

justice

and

mercy.

To

me, it is religious to wonder about the mystery of life itself

and

the way the soul is stirred by beauty

and

the immensity of the universe and of time.

To

me, it is religious

to

be moved,

even

awed at the grandeur of nature, the self-transcending power of compassion, the loveliness of the ancient scriptural dream

of

a world

of

peace

and

plenty for all.

To

care,

to

wonder, to be deeply moved, these are the religious responses to life.

and

people gather in churches and temples around the world

to

shelter

and

nourish those feelings. Some of the words that Claudine commended to our attention for this occasion

is

this litany from the Jewish tradition.

The

congregation is invited to respond, we remember them

as

an affirmation of our carrying forward in our hearts and our memories the love that we have had for friends who are now gone.

So

please join in if you are so moved.

In

the rising of the sun and in its going down,

in

the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,

in

the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring,

in

the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer,

in

the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn,

in

the beginning of the year and when it ends,

when

we are weary and in need of strength,

when

we are lost and sick at heart,

when

we have joys that we yearn to share,

so

long as we live, they too shall live, for they are now a part of us as

so

be it. To Old Friends Who Have Never Met

by

Peter Meineke

When

I'm not wishing I could find a unicorn,

I

wish all our old friends knew each other.

The

very least they deserve is the pleasure of each other's company.

We'd

go down by the river and the rocks would hum with this

rich

collection of men and women.

They

would look around and see themselves

no

longer isolated,

no

longer points in the darkness pointing nowhere.

But

as links in a magnificent chain of impossible flowers

girdling

the world

and

their talk,

they

are all talkers,

would

burst like spray in the sunlight

and

I would smile,

say

nothing, with a bottle of beer in my hand

and

a small white bird

banging in

my heart.

You

will recognize this poem. And

you

probably never knew its title

or

author.

So

this is

by

Claire Harner

and

its title, which is hard to read because it's highlighted, is Immortality.

Do

not stand by my grave and weep.

I

am not there.

I

do not sleep.

I

am the thousand winds that blow.

I

am the diamond glints in snow.

I

am the sunlight unripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain.

As

you awake with the morning's hush, I am the swift upflinging rush of quiet birds encircling flight.

I

am the day transcending night. Do not stand by my grave. and cry.

I

am not there.

I

did not die.

I

don't think

that

anyone here

will

forget Claudine's smile.

She

lit up the room

with

her passion for life,

for

people,

for

justice. She met all of the people around her, asking questions,

and

making new connections. We are all here

because

she welcomed us

into

her circle.

With

her smile and her laughter,

she

inspired us with her passion. Claudine started her life

mere

months

after

the Great Depression began,

growing

up

in

northeast Kansas City.

She was

a cheerleader at Northeast High School.

When

she married Von James Hemry at the age of 20,

they

were right there in northeast,

upstairs

from her parents.

They

bought a little track house

where

they raised their three children,

in

northeast,

of

course,

the

neighborhood that was home. Claudine decided that she wanted to become a nurse.

Of

course, that required college,

which

was expensive,

so

she found work.

For

a time, she worked at Montgomery Ward.

She

even worked for Lake City Arsenal,

despite

her strong beliefs against violence and war.

She

worked part-time,

was

in college part-time,

and

still raised her kids.

And

she completed her nursing degree from Penn Valley College, now the Penn Valley campus of Metropolitan Community College,

becoming

a registered nurse.

And

it all started

when

Claudine decided that the family must attend the 1962 World's Fair in New York City.

She

did research and made a presentation to her husband about all of the benefits to the family that this would bring.

The

children would learn so much, meet people from around the world, and be enriched in ways that could only happen if they made this long cross-country trip.

And

they went.

And

Claudine's life began its dramatic shift

into

world travel

and

activism. took the kids church shopping,

taking

them from church to church,

meeting

ministers, attending Sunday school classes and services,

and

then she found all souls.

And

she joined in 1966

when

Reverend Raymond Bragg was the minister here.

She

got involved with this church in so many ways over 57 years.

especially

pursuing our work of social justice.

Truly, we

have lost a beloved pillar

of

this congregation. Claudine and Vaughn divorced in 1968, and that life shift of hers continued.

She

left Northeast

and

made a home with her children in the Plaza Brookside area.

She

took time away on the SS Hope,

a

hospital ship operated by Project H-O-P-E.

It

traveled to many places around the world

treating

patients and teaching medicine, and she was a nurse on that ship.

Her

retirement from nursing when she was 62 completed her life shift

of

following her passion

and

activism.

She

knew what she wanted and she would do it her way.

She

traveled alone

all

across the globe.

She

walked the Ho Chi Minh Trail.

She

was proud of having kissed the Blarney Stone.

She

roamed the Australian outback.

She

saw

all

of the President's homes.

She

visited

practically

all of the World War II sites in Europe.

And

she walked the path

that

years before protesters had taken

across

the Edmund Pettus Bridge

in

Selma, Alabama.

I

cannot begin to enumerate

all

of the organizations for which Claudine volunteered.

I

have no idea. Although, I know that she did volunteer with the Casey Follies

and

the World War I Memorial.

She

marched. She was an activist. And everywhere she went in whatever context and on whatever continent

she

made friends.

deep

connections.

She

shared her love so widely.

And

you felt it.

For

a time, she hosted foreign students in her home.

They

would stay with her for months as they studied.

And

she made them family. Remaining in contact long after they graduated

and

enjoying visits years later

when

she would meet their kids. Claudine touched lives.

Hundreds

of lives.

Maybe

thousands of lives.

One

by one.

Through

her love of conversation, through her passion, through her boundless love.

May

we always remember her love

that

warmed our hearts

and

changed

our

lives.

And

her smile.

We

won't forget

her

smile.

In

the words of Antoine de Saint-Auxbury,

bit

by bit

it

comes over us

that

we shall never again hear

the

laughter of our friend.

That

this one garden is forever locked against us.

And

at that moment begins the reality of mourning.

For

nothing in truth can replace

such

a companion.

Old

friends cannot be created out of hand.

Nothing

can match the treasure of common memories.

And

it is idle,

having

planted an acorn in the morning,

to

expect that afternoon to sit in the shade of an oak. Thus,

when

a good person dies,

her

friends gather together

for

many reasons.

And

among those reasons is the impulse

to

tell stories,

reminding

ourselves and others

of

all that was true and good in her life.

It

is well for us to speak of those qualities which we treasured in our friend.

For

by speaking of them, they become somehow vital

and

enduring and grow into us so that we take on

what

was noble

and

become more noble ourselves. And so,

I

invite those of you who would care to do so,

to

come forward and share a memory of Claudine. and she said to me, what are you going to do when you get there? He said, well, you have to have some kind of plan. He

said,

I don't have one. So I started to think, like those people, the hurricane gave them no warning, that they were able to rebound and to get their lives back on track. So, I met a cousin yesterday who inspired me to write hope, and I want to share that with you. Where do I go?

How

do I get there? Does it have a key? Is it through a door?

Does

it come in a box? Does it have a bow? Where do I go?

Did

I learn it in school? Did I read it in a book? Did my teacher tell me in class? Did I miss it in my lessons?

Did

my friend whisper it to me in my ear, but I did not hear it? Where do I go? Is it in the stars and in the cosmos in perfect balance above my head?

Is

it in the tall, tall trees with leafy branches?

Is

it in the sound of the whispering or howling winds?

Where

prisms slide of a rainbow? Is it in the crashing ocean's saltwater waves? Is it in the tiny grain of silt and sand?

Where

do I go? Might it be on the highest, most rugged mountain that has the least bit of oxygen?

Could

it be in the deepest, darkest ravine? river that cuts through the most solid rock? Is it in the most spectacular sunrise or in the most breathtaking sunset?

Where

do I go?

It

doesn't matter where I go or how I get there. As long as I have a clear head, I follow my heart and I stay true to myself. As long as I go in confidence and let love be my God, that's where I am. My name is Jerry and I live in I've

been

there four years and I'm not sure exactly when you thought you were then. But we kind of hit it off. I don't know why. We just started joking with each other and she would go to me and I'd come back to her and kind of got the clue it would be the first joke. One second, two little quick stories One, she was organizing the library on the first floor in the park building where that's what she was living in. She called me up on Saturday afternoon about 2.15 and she said, Jerry, can you come over and help me? I said, what do you need? She said, well, I can't reach the top two levels of bookshelves. And I go, well, why not? She had attention and she laughed.

I went over and helped her in four hours. We almost had the whole thing done. It was just kind of interesting with her. The second one I want to tell you about, I got a picture in my phone.

it's

St. Patrick's Day, 22. Armor Oaks had a bus and we were going into the parade.

And

so we were sitting in the

foyer

in the front

in

the parks and waiting for the bus to show up.

And

we were just talking about wearing green

and

I had green stuff on, but I didn't really see anything green on her.

And

so she said, well I got wearing green and she pulled up her dress

and

she's got green socks on.

And

I was taking a picture and I think she realized that she was showing her legs. Because when I took the picture she was laughing and going away and you can't barely tell it was her, but if anyone wants to see that picture it's just very cute. But she just knew she was short.

Now

the socks went up halfway up to the knee and the dress went below the knee. So it was showing that much of her leg. That's all.

But

it was, we just had a good time and I'm just going to miss her.

My

name is Cheryl Westra

and I

always found it hard to say no to Claudine.

And

Claudine liked connections

and

liked introducing people to each other,

which

is how I ended up last summer in Homer, Alaska,

sitting

next to a man who I didn't know. As you heard, Claudine was a cheerleader.

Well,

she dated the football player, the quarterback, and she knew I was going to Alaska. And she kept bugging me. I've got these texts. So are you going to Homer? Are you going to Homer? It's like, okay, yes, we are going to Homer. And I had to look up Dick McNamara. And

I

sat and visited with Dick, who

was

very confused as to who the heck I was.

But

I had pictures that Claudine sent me, and I had them printed out. And I took a picture with Dick and sent it to Claudine, and she was just thrilled. And

that

will always be one of my favorite memories of Claudine, is making me go and sit and talk to this

man who I never met before. Okay,

I'm going to try to do this without crying, so bear with me. So, for those of you that know me, you realize or I've told you before that I'm transgender, specifically I'm non-binary. But this was the first community I really was public with that identity. Specifically, March of 2018, right there for a service. And I really was

very

nervous about kind of trying out my new name, my real name, Max. And afterwards, I felt better about talking about it and being public in the supportive community.

And

the first person that walked up to me

was

Claudine, and she just said, hey, Max. And it's

those

two words. I think everyone here knows that Claudine can really see you, all of you.

And

it was those words that made me really realize

not

only was I where I belonged, but

that

anybody, no matter their age or generation or background,

could

support and respect me and

see

me as who I am.

And

I think that that story just sums up who Claudine is. She was that kind of person who could make you feel that way.

Thank

you.

The

entire time I've known Claudine, she's been an old lady.

But

my absolute favorite thing about her is

throughout

that entire time, I mean, up until a few weeks

ago

when I saw her, she's been a sassy old lady. And often so sassy that she would ask me something, I'd go, Claudine!

But

if there is one old lady that I hope to grow into and emulate,

it's

definitely Claudine.

My

name is Frank Stevens. I'm a member here since 2006.

The

week after I signed the book, Claudine discovered me in Conover and

sat

me down and cross-examined me for half an hour.

And

in that exchange, we both discovered that the other one

was

a nomad

and

that All Souls was their home base where they

take

off from and where they come back to. And that was a wonderful discovery for both of us.

And

in 2009,

I

got a phone call

and

it was Claudine and she says, where are you? And I said,

I'm

in Seward, Alaska. I'm volunteering with the National Parks Program here. And she says, well, that's wonderful. I'm in California. Isn't that great? And

she

told me that

she

didn't want me to think that I was the only one having fun.

Then

again in 2012, I got a phone call and it was Claudine and she said, where are you?

And

I said, I've just crossed the border from Nova Scotia into Maine

and

I'm surprised. You're the first phone call I've been able to receive since I went into Canada two months before that.

And

she said, well, I'm in Carolina. And she said, you want to meet in the middle? and I that was pretty awesome.

And all

I've been able to think for the last few days

is

that

the

possibility that I'll get that surprise phone call

has

pretty much diminished and that

I'll

miss it. I really will. And I

can't

think of anything to add to that. She was a wonderful friend.

And we

agreed that the best thing about coming home is just before you get home you start thinking about where you want to go next.

and every

time I

do

laundry and service the truck and get ready to go somewhere I'll be thinking of my road buddy Claudine. Thank you.

Well,

I'm Carol Coles and my husband Jim Fletcher and I joined this church in 2015 and Claudine was one of the first people I met and at the time

she

didn't use any devices and was very mobile and she was very fast on her feet and she made a beeline for me and said you're going to like it here but there's lots to be done

and so

Claudine and I figured out some things to do and then a little later when mobility became an issue and then she wasn't driving I became part of her drive team and she would call me at the beginning of each month

to

set up the schedule

and

the schedule was very interesting because she really didn't like to be beholden to anyone so she always brought a gift when you gave her a ride this

was

one of my first gifts

it

was a can and it was empty and very clean and she said were you ever a girl scout and I said yes and she said you know you can make an

oven

out of this you

all

you need to do is make a small fire turn it upside down and you can cook right here

and I

said

well

thank you

but

I didn't make an oven out of it instead I wrote forks on it

and

I use it to store the forks that we feed folks with when we go out several times a week to feed folks that are houseless or food insecure and I have since gathered a spoons can that matches and a knives can that matches

but

that wasn't the only gift I got I got recycled magazines with articles that were checked off for me to read and I would be questioned on them

there

are other utilitarian things that I received

a

pillow case can be used for many things

if

you don't sleep with several pillows you can put things into it and carry them

or

you can make clothing or costumes from them

so

I just

will

always think of Claudine

when

I find a new purpose for something that

some

people might have recently cycled in other

less

obvious ways or even

God

forbid thrown away

and

that's Claudine

what

a beautiful force for good Claudine was I'm Henry Stover with PeaceWorks and many a time when we had our annual meeting across the way there Claudine would wait or stay and join our meeting and she was really a world citizen and just to look at her face and look at these bouquets here she was so colorful and we just have to embrace those beautiful qualities that she had now she was in dialogue with me earlier this year and I said oh my wife is celebrating an 80th birthday at Minsky's

would

you like to come and she could not resist saying you know no and so she got a ride from someone we promised that we would get her home or find her a ride and Claudine said that I have to sing a birthday song to Jane who's turning 80 and we had never heard this song but it sounded a bit like Broadway or whatever it was just so beautiful and she got me involved in a project this year and she I bet she had these questions written up because it wasn't just one question but what are we going to do Henry are you going to follow up on this or whatever and as Frank said cross examination it made me think of Agatha Christie because she said where did this person come into this other person's life I don't trust is she even from Kansas City so I said I met this person this person has lived all of her life in Kansas City I know exactly where she lives and I know what her special interests are but that did not satisfy Claudine she had to dig some more and I think for peace and justice and for love and whatever we have to get out of our comfort zone we have to love more we have to be that ray of sunshine and she lives on in our hearts and memories and may we carry forth the good work of Claudine

is

is a great mystery on the landscape of human experience

we

cannot know with certainty what lies beyond

but

we can imagine the peace of sunset

with

all suffering uncertainty and fear left far behind

and

we can believe in the very fiber of our beings

that

the great promises of life are not lies the immortality of beauty and virtue

the

power of genuine thought and honest love

whatever

remains of Claudine spirit is at peace and beyond all harm

as

she was good that goodness will be her guardian always

as

she was loved that love will attend her forever more

now

it is not our way to withhold from the earth forever

the

elements of which our living bodies were once composed

accordingly

in a few moments a portion of the ashes of Claudine's organic remains

will

be entrusted to the living beauty of the Simpson House Memorial Garden

to

rise in the blooming flowers of springtime

in

the exuberance of tree leaves against the summer sky

and

in the brilliance of autumn colors teaching once again how lovely letting go can be

there

will also be a time of informal fellowship and conversation at Simpson House

us

not be overly concerned with the length of our lives continue in the

may

Claudine's death

own

destiny in our dedication to some noble purpose and in our loyalty to those who remain with us

if

so much that is precious

can

be so easily lost

let

us more clearly cherish all that remains

the

love we can no longer give to our beloved may we give to those who have need of it

whatever

we have known and loved becomes a part of us

and

is ours forever

while

all about us and within us

there

is mystery

and

that mystery shines

with

a light that reveals to us

all

that is beautiful

and

good

may

we have faith to believe

that

it is not otherwise beyond the limit of our sight

that

beauty endures

that

goodness reigns

that

love outlasts time and death

and

all the stars

now

may we go from here

in

peace of heart

and

compassion for one another

in

quietness

and

confidence to take up the duties

of

our waiting lives

live

in love

die in

love

it's

that simple

and

that

difficult go

in peace